Completely shattered....

This song rang up to my ears...

Last Christmas I gave you my heart.... the very next day you gave it away...
This year to save me from tears.. I gave it to someone special..

Think... I will have to add on more lines

This year the same thing happens.... My heart is completely shattered...

Can't believe i'm crying now... its happening again.... i think i surely dunno why should i be so upset...

Last year I'd lost my bf... I moved on.....
This guy ...another guy.... all the long in my life for 1 1/2 years.... he have been talkin to me... company mi... i do feel touched... but not putting in any feelings for him... I feel bad... but i had to... coz i dun wanna hurt myself....

well.. frankly.... he isn't the kind of tea i go for...
But ... he is a gentle guy... always listens to me... he tired to be patient to mi... (haha... i do hav missy temper) .. overall... i do feel comfortable... not like any other guys gave mi...

I gave in ba.. started to like every moment every word.. storys goes on again... haha...
one day he suddenly say he wans to remain friends....

I had no choice... i have to draw back.. i dun wanna be seen as i'm a slut that i need to hold on ... and beg... I have been left with no choice.... he didn't gave mi options... or even hear what i gotta say...

I wanna say its too late.... why now then say... when i am totally in love ... and now i can't... jus can't stop liao...

worse is i dunno how to hate him...

i notice his msn msg... i know... he found another ger....
"my love for you for a day bla bla bla"
today's msg is "still love you"

i know... those aren't meant for mi... but these words are driving mi insane...

This christmas is terrible.... i dun have any wonderful gift.... jus more and more hurting....
how much hurt can i take.... before i can really gif up on him.... i really dunno....

Merry christmas 2007....

What a BITC....HHHhhhhh.....

Last fri was my company event....

So had gift exchange.... games.... then buffet....
everything seems fine.... everyone had fun....
Coming to an end time, ppl busy packing up the food... coz got lotsa left over... mi offered to help the ppl in packin (As well as pack my salmon !!)

One male colleague wanna pack the olive rice, jus then another male colleague came over in a bitchy voice say" Aiya, dun pack the rice, see so oily.... see the oil.... dun pack dun pack..."

mi jus loon let it be liao....

another female colleague came and pack the olive rice.... then he goes again..... he stood there continue to choose his chicken like an aunt(take take throw back pick pick throw back), so my colleague quite unsure if she can pack the rice anot...well this time is i know this colleague, mi jus cannot ren liao... coz i dunno how many ppl he is going to stop....

Mi jus shot lo..... "y stop ppl from taking wat they wan ... they wan then let them pack lo..... see the chicken u pack... also oily ma....see the oil" he walk away to another tray... mi jus pat on his hand say "dun be so serious... " he jus twitch his head abit then use side eyes glare at my hand... mi jus draw back and continue to pack the food.

later on i go find my colleagues to take pic.... he is in the room... when i enter i say him like...
Imagine ar...
he used his hands to balance his chin, tilt his head high high.... eyes see the wall not looking at computer screen.. like making a sound 'HURPPP!!"
like abit "thousand pound missy" ... frankly.... i really wanna luff... no i mean or bad... but well... i neber seen a man behaving like a woman...

Abit feel bad... that i provoke him... wanna apologise... but checking on my fairness balance... cannot leh.... buay balance leh... how cum apologise... seriously reflecting on that day wat i say...

Well.... oki.... some point checks...

1) define Olive ....... ?
Is a better kind of product for oil..... healthier choice compare to the peanut oil, lard etc..... (go search the website la..... liew...) the rice is using olive ma....ya la its oily... but the oil is in the bottom... can take the top part rite.... he can jus say "take the top... the bottom is oily" rather then stopping ppl.... like that ppl will feel that he is a considerate person ar.....

2) Buffet u pay de.....?
You pay de ma.... if u pay... pack all the food home.....

3) Your colleagues, frien, family......
Are they working under you, your lover, you lao bei lao bu? that they must listen to you....

4) You can say ppl but cannot stand ppl say you....
Dun need explain more ba.... Muz have Du liang(inner str) one ....

5) wat is wif the glare
Lol.... mi xiao mei mei leh.... being direct is wat I am... pls.... one kind of rice 100 types of ppl... jus so happen that i'm a direct person... u are a petty bossy fella.... mi accept the fact that i am direct... str forward.... jus say wat i feel...i'm a simple minded idiot..... wat abt u...

Dont say liao wor.... mi wanna forget this thing.... go grab ice cream eat... hahaha

Feelings

I'm..... missing him... like crazy.... sure am....
always on my mind... thinking why....
I'm already done with crying.... but why is there still sadness lingering ..
really dunno why.... he isn't the kind of guy i look for... jus... got this hitch which i can't ditch...
i tot the feelings aren't for real... time will pass..... the feelings wont last.... but its been cuming 2mths liao... why am i still missing him....
my brain should stop... doing silly stuff.... driven mad.... becuming crazy....
hates it ba... i guess.... i really wanna cut myself alway from him liao.... think i should .... else... i really dunno liao.... arrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

wish mi happie birthday.. quick quick

Its my birthday tomolo.... hee hee
my 24th resolution..... go on diet....
LOL... jia lat man.... growing fatter till i buay tahan liao...

Waiting for tonite..... dinner at vivo... spend a nite clubbin and being crazy...
haha....

busy busy last week.......thurs was my company DND, fri is my boss farewell dinner,then movie wif colleagues "enchanted", today dinner at vivo then st james. tomolo high tea wif sec sch frien... sunday nite still no plan.... sigh... kanna rejected... so dunno wat to do with that slot... :(

time seems to pass.... and i neber know that i'm 24th so fast.... till now like not much good thing happening to mi leh.... think i much buck up abit ba.... else... cannot make it sia....

next year is my studies at SIM.... going to spend a year there for my degree.... hope i can pass.... and not waste my money......

oki ba... bath liao... later late... haha

Wo de yi ke xin jiao gei shui

This sun is my birthday... and i tot of askin the guy i liked out and wanna let him know my feelings for him... well.. he beaten mi to it.... last week... he told mi that remain as friens is best... as his feelings to mi aren't that strong enuff.. and is afraid to hurt mi...

GOSH.... i totally hate ppl saying this to me... pls.... if u think i'm not up to standard to match you... jus tell mi... dun tell mi that u are thinking abt me, my feelings thats why say these stuff... dun think i dunno u enuff... i know u enuff.. thats why i know wat u say is nonsense and excuses..

Totally hate it.... why treat mi so good all these times... and say those stuff to mi want mi consider u... then now... wanna break my heart... i was planning to give a chance to this relationship... guess... its dead before it start...

Hai mi now end up torturing myself.... force myself to sick whole week.... last saturday i had bad sore throat, stomachache.... plus vomit... Sunday which is my frien weddin.... drank my sorrows down.... thou sore throat... sang my hearts out with some help of sweets and honey drink...

Today total breakdown with fever...

Why i need to do these foolish stuff then i will wake up....
but i'm not awake yet... shyt...

Weddin... love.... embrace....

Yest was my best frien's wedding....
Morning at 5.30 am woke up to prepare.... 6.30 am my frien came to pick mi and later to 3 other more friends ...
abit used to waking up early, coz of my job... jus dun like the rushing part.... yest was busy wif my manicure before i went to slp...

7am reached Dover.. hang ard abit and started to prepare the stuff for sabotage the brothers...
Some ideas to share...
First... one long chain... and 4 padlocks.... to lock the door... (like the loanshark)

1) Flavours of Life
Sour - fresh peeled lime puree on crackers
Sweet - peanut butter, jam and sugar toppin on crackers
Bitter - fresh cut bittergourd
Hot - Wasabi, chilli and sambal balacan toppin on crackers
All are generous servings btw...

2) Melting Love
10 mashmallow to be passed in 30seconds...
Begins with the Groom... pass to his brother... then the brother pass to another brother and so on till the last brother then back to the groom.... BY MOUTH PLS....
So its a mouth to mouth exchange of items...and the groom has to eat it.... to enjoy the melting moments and brotherly love....

3) How deep is your love
Questionaire... to find out how much the groom knows abt the bride....
Reward is a key to unlock the locks.....

Not to forget the last is to chop the groom for a fat ang pao... before letting him in..

Its not over... groom needs to sing outside the door.... wif the brothers dancing....

lol... quite fun...

left the bride hse to the grooms....
Our retribution came.... the brothers used the chains and locks they took from the brides hse and locked up our shoes.... fancy the sisters and early 20s, the brothers are early 30s + they are married... we 10 ppl played like children at the groom's blk.... runnin up and down the block... to get back our shoes.... we poured powder on their shoes... (black shoes all white liao)... and the guys suffered lots of scratches.... catfights... lol.... till.... final round... gals took a okley sunglass and a car key.. guy's only chip is a camera.... my camera... Zzzz....

the the newly weds settled our scores....

Got back to the bride's hse... hang ard awhile then left for some food and home to rest...
I neber got to rest much... Need to get ready for nite event

Was raining, so asked my bro to send mi there...

So dinner is normal... the newly weds ROM infront of us... then we ate and ate...

But its not the end... we wanna settle score with the brothers...
mixed beer and hard alcohol....
quite fun as well...

Everything ends.... wanna go to hotel to disturb the newly weds... but the groom is sick... so we decide to let him off...

We went Ktv to sing till 4am... weeeee~*

Only Fools

Only Fools will do this... more or less... i'm implying to myself... lolx

Gonna share my life story again....